when u haven’t masturbated in ages and
damn imma stop masturbating for a while so i can grow cannons on my back and launch torrents of water at people
my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she said, “you were pretty easy to raise as teenagers. all you did was sleep and eat.”
so to prove some point she’s going to nail a small cup of jello to a tree.
she’s so pleased with her self
parents are weird